Wanting but not achieving...

My last post was in December 2008, so now that Spring 2009 is here we need to continue our discussion.

The time for new year's resolutions (making and breaking) has come and passed - we may now focus on the newness of Spring and all it brings: new love, flowers, greenery, and of course quite a bit of rain.

Having said that, have you actually been able to achieve what you wanted? Why do you have the same resolutions year after year? If you were actually achieving them, you would weigh under 40 kilos by now, losing 5 kilos each year...and why are you not able to STICK to the goal, once achieved? Is it not really what you want?

If someone says they want to lose weight - why is it not achievable? Without medical blockages or issues preventing weight loss, why cannot someone just say "I want to lose 5 kilos" and then be able to set about to reach that goal? As I said in December's blogpost - the most difficult thing is deciding what one wants and once decided, things can then be achieved.

And of course, people always say they want more money, a nicer car, new clothes, etc. etc. - again, if the dilemma is actually deciding "what do you want" then why are these things still so difficult to attain, even though we are quite sure, in fact we are positive that these are definitely things we want in life.

The answer, I'm afraid is quite simple. The reason you cannot lose those 5 kilos is because there is something that you want a bit more strongly than to lose weight, and that is FOOD. The reason you are not able to have more money is because you want something else a bit more: leisure time perhaps, instead of working harder at your job. I am not saying that you are lazy. Simply that you want something else a bit more.

Think back to my December blog. A starving person wants food - more than anything else. He will work for it, beg for it, maybe even steal it - which means other things (such as his leisure time, pride, ethics) is given up so that he can get food. Someone who wants to lose 5 kilos but never seems to manage to do it has simply put another "want" priority ahead of the desire to lose weight. It has nothing to do with willpower.

Another example. You want to quit smoking - well why haven't you? Because when you have a drink you want a cigarette, or because when you're around other smokers you want to join in, or because you prefer the taste and feel of the cigarette - more than the benefits of quitting altogether.

Last night was Earth Hour. Hopefully, you were participating and did turn off your lights, tv, computer, cell phones, etc. and read or chatted by candlelight for one hour. I met someone today who said that by 9:15pm he was so bored he gave up and turned on the TV. So...he wanted to watch television more than reduce electricity usage on the planet. It's not a matter of willpower - it is want and desire. When you know what you want, your life is quite simple and things are achievable because you will do all you can to reach those goals.

Keep that in mind the next time you see a delicious double fudge chocolate layer cake and think to yourself "I shouldn't..." and then you have a slice anyway. Remember you've simply stated "I want that cake" stronger than "I want a healthy body" and that it, easily achieved!

It's not all doom and gloom though...the power of learning what you really want can help you shape your desires and reach your goals. More to be discussed in the next blog: how to actually determine what you want (so that you can then achieve it!)

See you on the next post...