Okay wow, it has been YEARS literally since I last posted on this blog. And in truth, I barely posted anything. And my gosh, to ask people to keep me in Monaco - for sure it was desperate times, despite what people say "move for gosh sakes!" - the envious or perhaps obvious solution is to leave this dreamy place and go slum it somewhere else...but one with perseverance always wins out!
So how did I do it? No job, no prospects, and selling off watches, handbags, and shoes to pay rent...five years later, still in Monaco and with a THRIVING business / income and woo hoo so happy!
What was the secret? Did I become a lady of the night? Yes, it's true, some women here make $400,000 in 90 days...that's cash on hand, tax free. Yes, they are THAT GORGEOUS, and I'm assuming yes they are THAT AMAZING in bed. With that kind of competition, no, I did not even consider that profession to try and pay the bills. And also no, I did not "land me a rich guy" who started paying my bills. No one died in my family, no inheritance (thank goodness). And I didn't win the lottery - didn't even buy tickets! And finally, NO, I did not borrow from anyone - nor did I rack up credit card bills.
So...how in the world could I have hit rock bottom in Monaco, and survived? Well...I just believed that I was fine. Yes, it's a bit of the Secret going on here - behave as if nothing is wrong, and lo and behold opportunities present themselves. It really boils down to three concepts, and each one is critical:
1. Ask clearly for what you want. Is it money? a job? Perhaps...or maybe you just want a way out of the current state - into a better state. The best way to phrase it is to add the words "or better" at the end. In other words, if you have money problems, and want to find a job - or something better to solve that problem. Maybe the something better is that your landlord dies with no children and "wills his property" to you. You would never ASK for that, but if it came along and solved your rent problem, you will not turn it away. Which leads to the second step.
2. Receive the answers. Once you ask for a solution - many will appear. People out of nowhere will suddenly have the perfect job for you, or you might get an email from an old long lost friend who just launched a business and needs help finding someone just like you, are you available? You have to be open to receiving these opportunities. I mean, I had someone offer to buy a watch I was wearing - I thought what a weirdo, but then I realised, hey, that's like 5K cash in hand in like 2 seconds if I want it! You will be bombarded with amazing opportunities, suggestions, solutions - all around you. But if you are skeptical, suspicious, doubtful - trust me you will miss on so many of the easiest and most wonderful concepts. You must act upon these opportunities, to demonstrate you are willing to receive them. That leads to the third and most critical step.
3. Act with inspiration. Follow up on all leads with sincerity and true feelings. Let's say some job offer comes along, and you don't really like it, or maybe you are hoping for something better. You must still accept the presentation of the offer with grace, love, and respect. What a wonderful offer, you feel honoured to be considered. So many aspects about the offer that make you pause, and say them out loud. Thank the person who made the offer. Be grateful and show respect. And then, you may politely decline, saying that you think there will be a better fit for them. Don't forget what I said earlier about getting what you want, or better! Other people also deserve better, and you should convey the same good will to them that you expect for yourself.
So whether you are seeking love, money, friends, work, health - be sure to ask, receive, and act. A genuine request will generate offers - and you need to act upon each one of them with the most sincere and honest feelings. If you scoff at a job, saying "that is beneath me" then you might start getting more and more of the same. I've known friends who lament that they keep getting only receptionist jobs when their skills are to manage the office - and then in time, guess what, even those receptionist jobs disappear and they start to panic and wish they had even the janitor position.
Be gracious, be grateful - the universe is all around you to help and support you. Acknowledge every offer - every sign that is trying to show you how abundant life really is...and I promise you will feel so elated and appreciative, that you will wonder how you managed as miss misery guts all those years!
Life is short, but it is exactly long enough for each one of us to discover and fulfill our purpose.
Big hugs and more soon...
Monday, May 19, 2014
Friday, July 24, 2009
Practice being perfect
Practice makes perfect. We've all heard that mantra. If you want to be perfect, you need to practice. But what does that mean to this blogger topic, about getting what you want? Well, ideally it means you will achieve what you want in life - and you will perfect that practice.
Let's first remind ourselves about what we want. Did you try the lunch experiment at breakfast time? At breakfast, you are to make a decision about whether or not you are going to have lunch today. Just making that decision is an act of formalizing what you really want. It is easy to be hungry, and make the decision to eat something - that is wanting something to take care of an immediate need.
What about the future wants? You want a better job. You want a million dollars. You want a loving relationship. It does not sound like the same thing as eating food when you are hungry, but it should be exactly the same.
When you are hungry, any number of food items can help satisfy your cravings. How often has your mother offered three or four leftover food items in the fridge, and at your turned up nose and whining said "so I guess you are not really that hungry, or else you would eat that."
If you are still struggling to find a better job, relationship, million dollars - the only sensible answer is that you are just not that hungry to find it. You could be a high school drop out, and if you are determined to become a lawyer someday - you will achieve it, because your desire is clear and strong. And once you become a lawyer, if you truly do want to become a judge - your life path will get you there, because of your strong will to achieve it.
However, if you are an office worker, wondering why you can't seem to get a promotion, there is a clear and simple answer. You don't really want the promotion. Because if you did, you'd have it by now.
Okay, so the message about truly focusing your talents on your desires is clear. But how to do it?
Remember the lunch decision scenario? How did that go? Once you made the decision that you were going to have lunch, you can put that thought away and not worry about it anymore. It is the same with any "want" in your life.
Try it.
Think of something you want to do today. Anything, from a walk in the park, to gym class, or drinks with friends. Make a decision that you will do that before the end of the day. Go ahead, just decide! Tell yourself that at 6pm you will be taking that walk, or you will be in the gym, or having a cocktail with friends. Visualize that activity.
Really think about what it will look like, and think through the details - the sights, the smells, the sounds. The more you can picture, the more real it will become. You may find yourself calling to reserve a table at a favourite bar, or checking with the gym to see the class schedule. I assure you, the more you visualize the world as you want it to be for you, the more effort you will find yourself making to reach that goal.
So try it today.
Tell me about it.
And we'll discuss more visualization techniques for longer term goals soon.
Let's first remind ourselves about what we want. Did you try the lunch experiment at breakfast time? At breakfast, you are to make a decision about whether or not you are going to have lunch today. Just making that decision is an act of formalizing what you really want. It is easy to be hungry, and make the decision to eat something - that is wanting something to take care of an immediate need.
What about the future wants? You want a better job. You want a million dollars. You want a loving relationship. It does not sound like the same thing as eating food when you are hungry, but it should be exactly the same.
When you are hungry, any number of food items can help satisfy your cravings. How often has your mother offered three or four leftover food items in the fridge, and at your turned up nose and whining said "so I guess you are not really that hungry, or else you would eat that."
If you are still struggling to find a better job, relationship, million dollars - the only sensible answer is that you are just not that hungry to find it. You could be a high school drop out, and if you are determined to become a lawyer someday - you will achieve it, because your desire is clear and strong. And once you become a lawyer, if you truly do want to become a judge - your life path will get you there, because of your strong will to achieve it.
However, if you are an office worker, wondering why you can't seem to get a promotion, there is a clear and simple answer. You don't really want the promotion. Because if you did, you'd have it by now.
Okay, so the message about truly focusing your talents on your desires is clear. But how to do it?
Remember the lunch decision scenario? How did that go? Once you made the decision that you were going to have lunch, you can put that thought away and not worry about it anymore. It is the same with any "want" in your life.
Try it.
Think of something you want to do today. Anything, from a walk in the park, to gym class, or drinks with friends. Make a decision that you will do that before the end of the day. Go ahead, just decide! Tell yourself that at 6pm you will be taking that walk, or you will be in the gym, or having a cocktail with friends. Visualize that activity.
Really think about what it will look like, and think through the details - the sights, the smells, the sounds. The more you can picture, the more real it will become. You may find yourself calling to reserve a table at a favourite bar, or checking with the gym to see the class schedule. I assure you, the more you visualize the world as you want it to be for you, the more effort you will find yourself making to reach that goal.
So try it today.
Tell me about it.
And we'll discuss more visualization techniques for longer term goals soon.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tracy Anderson Method - does it work?
We are in the onslaught of summer and bikinis so of course the time has come to get in shape. I can't really complain as I'm not obese or excessively overweight - but I do seem to gain weight when I'm content - anyone else like that? I mean, if I'm depressed, the last thing I want to do is go eat a tub of ice cream. I lose my appetite and pretty much just go out walking or jogging on my own, to think, reflect, wallow, etc. No eating - and I don't feel like going out dining and drinking. Heck, depression is the best diet for me.
It's when life is content, happy, going well...that's when I find myself enjoying rich meals, lots of wine (and champagne and vodka too), and of course the pounds come on easily during happy times.
So given my recent happy months, I must say it was time to find a way back to a healthy svelte body and lifestyle. I decided upon two things: No alcohol for 30 days, and follow the Tracy Anderson method.
I thought I should give a review of the two Tracy Anderson videos I am using: her Dance Cardio DVD and the Mat Method DVD. I've been using both for about two weeks, and thought it best to record my results. Most of the review sites I have read about her method seem to rate the usability of the video, but don't really share results specifically. I think it's important to know what's happening on a day to day basis - so at least you can try it yourself and rate your progress against someone else.
Of course we all respond to exercise in different ways, and I know for sure that people have ways of "cheating" and not really performing correctly - if you get lax in either of these videos I am pretty sure the results will be less than good.
So before I even tell you about the videos, I'm just going to post my results here. I weigh myself everyday, after exercising and before eating anything. I also take a body fat measure (my scale measures it for me), and by tracking that over time I can see if any progress is being made. I think it is important to take measures every day - of course, in just 2 or 3 days you really don't have much information, but over time, you will see a pattern and that is the important thing in weight loss.
June 1 64.1 KG / 33.8% body fat
June 2 63.6 KG / 32.2%
June 3 64.3 KG / 30.7%
June 4 64.3 KG / 31.3%
June 5 64.7 KG / 30.2%
June 6 64.0 KG / 31.3%
June 7 63.1 KG / 30.6%
June 8 63.9 KG / 30.7%
June 9 63.3 KG / 30.5%
June 10 63.7 KG / 28.8% no exercise
June 11 62.9 KG / 29.4%
June 12 62.6 KG / 28.4%
June 13 62.2 KG / 29.5%
June 14 62.2 KG / 29.0%
June 15 61.7 KG / 28.1%
June 16 62.3 KG / 26.0% no exercise
June 17 63.0 KG / 28.5%
Okay, those are the results so far...and the no exercise days were for pretty lazy reasons. On June 9th I went to an AC/DC concert in Marseille, so had little energy the next day to get up and do the DVDs. And on June 16, I had so much to do I had to start early and never got around to the exercise.
If you just look at the numbers, it looks like I am edging down in both weight and body fat - with some fluctuations day to day. Bottom line is that I definitely weigh less than I started - and for sure my body shows less fat than when I began. I notice it mostly in my clothes - tight pants/skirts are now fitting quite well. So while the overall weight loss is not significant (only about 1 kilo or 2 pounds in two weeks) I must say that a 5% reduction in body fat is a very important differnce.
(By the way, if anyone wants to know what scale I use, happy to share; I did quite a bit of research to select it and feel confident that my brand gives near accurate readings overtime - compared it with doctor's and gym facility measurements and it does match).
Okay, now we see my results in 17 days...next thing is to focus on the DVDs themselves. Let me get to my lunch date (oh yes, did I mention that I've changed nothing of my eating habits? Well, nothing except omitting alcohol...all right, there was one Pop Pommery bottle of champagne at the AC/DC concert, but then lots of bouncing around to the rock!)
More later...
It's when life is content, happy, going well...that's when I find myself enjoying rich meals, lots of wine (and champagne and vodka too), and of course the pounds come on easily during happy times.
So given my recent happy months, I must say it was time to find a way back to a healthy svelte body and lifestyle. I decided upon two things: No alcohol for 30 days, and follow the Tracy Anderson method.
I thought I should give a review of the two Tracy Anderson videos I am using: her Dance Cardio DVD and the Mat Method DVD. I've been using both for about two weeks, and thought it best to record my results. Most of the review sites I have read about her method seem to rate the usability of the video, but don't really share results specifically. I think it's important to know what's happening on a day to day basis - so at least you can try it yourself and rate your progress against someone else.
Of course we all respond to exercise in different ways, and I know for sure that people have ways of "cheating" and not really performing correctly - if you get lax in either of these videos I am pretty sure the results will be less than good.
So before I even tell you about the videos, I'm just going to post my results here. I weigh myself everyday, after exercising and before eating anything. I also take a body fat measure (my scale measures it for me), and by tracking that over time I can see if any progress is being made. I think it is important to take measures every day - of course, in just 2 or 3 days you really don't have much information, but over time, you will see a pattern and that is the important thing in weight loss.
June 1 64.1 KG / 33.8% body fat
June 2 63.6 KG / 32.2%
June 3 64.3 KG / 30.7%
June 4 64.3 KG / 31.3%
June 5 64.7 KG / 30.2%
June 6 64.0 KG / 31.3%
June 7 63.1 KG / 30.6%
June 8 63.9 KG / 30.7%
June 9 63.3 KG / 30.5%
June 10 63.7 KG / 28.8% no exercise
June 11 62.9 KG / 29.4%
June 12 62.6 KG / 28.4%
June 13 62.2 KG / 29.5%
June 14 62.2 KG / 29.0%
June 15 61.7 KG / 28.1%
June 16 62.3 KG / 26.0% no exercise
June 17 63.0 KG / 28.5%
Okay, those are the results so far...and the no exercise days were for pretty lazy reasons. On June 9th I went to an AC/DC concert in Marseille, so had little energy the next day to get up and do the DVDs. And on June 16, I had so much to do I had to start early and never got around to the exercise.
If you just look at the numbers, it looks like I am edging down in both weight and body fat - with some fluctuations day to day. Bottom line is that I definitely weigh less than I started - and for sure my body shows less fat than when I began. I notice it mostly in my clothes - tight pants/skirts are now fitting quite well. So while the overall weight loss is not significant (only about 1 kilo or 2 pounds in two weeks) I must say that a 5% reduction in body fat is a very important differnce.
(By the way, if anyone wants to know what scale I use, happy to share; I did quite a bit of research to select it and feel confident that my brand gives near accurate readings overtime - compared it with doctor's and gym facility measurements and it does match).
Okay, now we see my results in 17 days...next thing is to focus on the DVDs themselves. Let me get to my lunch date (oh yes, did I mention that I've changed nothing of my eating habits? Well, nothing except omitting alcohol...all right, there was one Pop Pommery bottle of champagne at the AC/DC concert, but then lots of bouncing around to the rock!)
More later...
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wanting but not achieving...
My last post was in December 2008, so now that Spring 2009 is here we need to continue our discussion.
The time for new year's resolutions (making and breaking) has come and passed - we may now focus on the newness of Spring and all it brings: new love, flowers, greenery, and of course quite a bit of rain.
Having said that, have you actually been able to achieve what you wanted? Why do you have the same resolutions year after year? If you were actually achieving them, you would weigh under 40 kilos by now, losing 5 kilos each year...and why are you not able to STICK to the goal, once achieved? Is it not really what you want?
If someone says they want to lose weight - why is it not achievable? Without medical blockages or issues preventing weight loss, why cannot someone just say "I want to lose 5 kilos" and then be able to set about to reach that goal? As I said in December's blogpost - the most difficult thing is deciding what one wants and once decided, things can then be achieved.
And of course, people always say they want more money, a nicer car, new clothes, etc. etc. - again, if the dilemma is actually deciding "what do you want" then why are these things still so difficult to attain, even though we are quite sure, in fact we are positive that these are definitely things we want in life.
The answer, I'm afraid is quite simple. The reason you cannot lose those 5 kilos is because there is something that you want a bit more strongly than to lose weight, and that is FOOD. The reason you are not able to have more money is because you want something else a bit more: leisure time perhaps, instead of working harder at your job. I am not saying that you are lazy. Simply that you want something else a bit more.
Think back to my December blog. A starving person wants food - more than anything else. He will work for it, beg for it, maybe even steal it - which means other things (such as his leisure time, pride, ethics) is given up so that he can get food. Someone who wants to lose 5 kilos but never seems to manage to do it has simply put another "want" priority ahead of the desire to lose weight. It has nothing to do with willpower.
Another example. You want to quit smoking - well why haven't you? Because when you have a drink you want a cigarette, or because when you're around other smokers you want to join in, or because you prefer the taste and feel of the cigarette - more than the benefits of quitting altogether.
Last night was Earth Hour. Hopefully, you were participating and did turn off your lights, tv, computer, cell phones, etc. and read or chatted by candlelight for one hour. I met someone today who said that by 9:15pm he was so bored he gave up and turned on the TV. So...he wanted to watch television more than reduce electricity usage on the planet. It's not a matter of willpower - it is want and desire. When you know what you want, your life is quite simple and things are achievable because you will do all you can to reach those goals.
Keep that in mind the next time you see a delicious double fudge chocolate layer cake and think to yourself "I shouldn't..." and then you have a slice anyway. Remember you've simply stated "I want that cake" stronger than "I want a healthy body" and that it, easily achieved!
It's not all doom and gloom though...the power of learning what you really want can help you shape your desires and reach your goals. More to be discussed in the next blog: how to actually determine what you want (so that you can then achieve it!)
See you on the next post...
The time for new year's resolutions (making and breaking) has come and passed - we may now focus on the newness of Spring and all it brings: new love, flowers, greenery, and of course quite a bit of rain.
Having said that, have you actually been able to achieve what you wanted? Why do you have the same resolutions year after year? If you were actually achieving them, you would weigh under 40 kilos by now, losing 5 kilos each year...and why are you not able to STICK to the goal, once achieved? Is it not really what you want?
If someone says they want to lose weight - why is it not achievable? Without medical blockages or issues preventing weight loss, why cannot someone just say "I want to lose 5 kilos" and then be able to set about to reach that goal? As I said in December's blogpost - the most difficult thing is deciding what one wants and once decided, things can then be achieved.
And of course, people always say they want more money, a nicer car, new clothes, etc. etc. - again, if the dilemma is actually deciding "what do you want" then why are these things still so difficult to attain, even though we are quite sure, in fact we are positive that these are definitely things we want in life.
The answer, I'm afraid is quite simple. The reason you cannot lose those 5 kilos is because there is something that you want a bit more strongly than to lose weight, and that is FOOD. The reason you are not able to have more money is because you want something else a bit more: leisure time perhaps, instead of working harder at your job. I am not saying that you are lazy. Simply that you want something else a bit more.
Think back to my December blog. A starving person wants food - more than anything else. He will work for it, beg for it, maybe even steal it - which means other things (such as his leisure time, pride, ethics) is given up so that he can get food. Someone who wants to lose 5 kilos but never seems to manage to do it has simply put another "want" priority ahead of the desire to lose weight. It has nothing to do with willpower.
Another example. You want to quit smoking - well why haven't you? Because when you have a drink you want a cigarette, or because when you're around other smokers you want to join in, or because you prefer the taste and feel of the cigarette - more than the benefits of quitting altogether.
Last night was Earth Hour. Hopefully, you were participating and did turn off your lights, tv, computer, cell phones, etc. and read or chatted by candlelight for one hour. I met someone today who said that by 9:15pm he was so bored he gave up and turned on the TV. So...he wanted to watch television more than reduce electricity usage on the planet. It's not a matter of willpower - it is want and desire. When you know what you want, your life is quite simple and things are achievable because you will do all you can to reach those goals.
Keep that in mind the next time you see a delicious double fudge chocolate layer cake and think to yourself "I shouldn't..." and then you have a slice anyway. Remember you've simply stated "I want that cake" stronger than "I want a healthy body" and that it, easily achieved!
It's not all doom and gloom though...the power of learning what you really want can help you shape your desires and reach your goals. More to be discussed in the next blog: how to actually determine what you want (so that you can then achieve it!)
See you on the next post...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Do you know what you want?
Want. What does it mean to you?
English definition: desire; feel or have a desire for; want strongly; "I want to go home now"; "I want my own room"; "I want a 2009 Bentley convertible."
We have all experienced "want" as a desire for something we do not have at the current moment.
When you are hungry, you want food.
When you are tired, you want sleep.
When you are poor, you want money.
It seems so easy and clear and yet millions of people really have no idea what they want. People spend enormous amounts of time trying to figure out what they want. Think about how long you peered at a menu in a restaurant before you made your choice. And how long do you spend in a dress shop, looking for the perfect dress. And then again time spent to find the perfect shoes that you want to match the dress...and then the handbag...you get the picture.
Everyone spends an inordinate amount of their lives simply trying to figure out what they want.
If you still don't believe that you spend lots of time trying to decide what you want, contemplate the opposite scenario, when you know exactly what you want. For example, when you crave a hamburger, your decision is quick and easy. Select a restaurant that serves hamburgers. When you want a blue silk handbag with crystal tassels, you will be very quickly scanning accessory departments to find your target. Naturally, the more precise and unique your want, it may take longer to actually find and fulfill the want--but that is for another blog on another day.
For the moment take this thought with and try the following experiment.
Tomorrow morning when you wake up, glance at the clock and write down the time on a pad of paper. Next, ask yourself if you want to eat lunch later in the day. Not what to eat, or when to eat, just whether or not you want to eat lunch. When you make a decision to eat lunch or not, write down the time of the lunch decision. Chances are it will simply be a minute or two (or even 10 seconds) after your first time notation. That's because you know your routine and your daily wants. If you normally eat lunch, the question is easy. If you normally don't eat lunch, again the decision is easy. If each day is different, and you are never really sure if you will or won't want lunch, chances are it will take longer before you decide if you want lunch.
I have not even begun to ask you to consider the question of what you will want to eat for lunch. Again, the lesson in the exercise is to understand that if you do not know what you want, it will take a longer time to actually get it.
And you will be left with a feeling of wanting for a much longer time.
A very simple concept, yet with massive impact on our overall happiness.
The next blog will consider your comments and / or add more perspective on how to get what you want on a regular basis.
English definition: desire; feel or have a desire for; want strongly; "I want to go home now"; "I want my own room"; "I want a 2009 Bentley convertible."
We have all experienced "want" as a desire for something we do not have at the current moment.
When you are hungry, you want food.
When you are tired, you want sleep.
When you are poor, you want money.
It seems so easy and clear and yet millions of people really have no idea what they want. People spend enormous amounts of time trying to figure out what they want. Think about how long you peered at a menu in a restaurant before you made your choice. And how long do you spend in a dress shop, looking for the perfect dress. And then again time spent to find the perfect shoes that you want to match the dress...and then the handbag...you get the picture.
Everyone spends an inordinate amount of their lives simply trying to figure out what they want.
If you still don't believe that you spend lots of time trying to decide what you want, contemplate the opposite scenario, when you know exactly what you want. For example, when you crave a hamburger, your decision is quick and easy. Select a restaurant that serves hamburgers. When you want a blue silk handbag with crystal tassels, you will be very quickly scanning accessory departments to find your target. Naturally, the more precise and unique your want, it may take longer to actually find and fulfill the want--but that is for another blog on another day.
For the moment take this thought with and try the following experiment.
Tomorrow morning when you wake up, glance at the clock and write down the time on a pad of paper. Next, ask yourself if you want to eat lunch later in the day. Not what to eat, or when to eat, just whether or not you want to eat lunch. When you make a decision to eat lunch or not, write down the time of the lunch decision. Chances are it will simply be a minute or two (or even 10 seconds) after your first time notation. That's because you know your routine and your daily wants. If you normally eat lunch, the question is easy. If you normally don't eat lunch, again the decision is easy. If each day is different, and you are never really sure if you will or won't want lunch, chances are it will take longer before you decide if you want lunch.
I have not even begun to ask you to consider the question of what you will want to eat for lunch. Again, the lesson in the exercise is to understand that if you do not know what you want, it will take a longer time to actually get it.
And you will be left with a feeling of wanting for a much longer time.
A very simple concept, yet with massive impact on our overall happiness.
The next blog will consider your comments and / or add more perspective on how to get what you want on a regular basis.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)